I quit acting in 2016. It wasn’t working for me, and I found my passions in theatre leading me somewhere else. But recently, I auditioned for something.
I’m going to make a post in a little bit of why I quit acting, the whole story. But I’ll say now that the world of acting was not kind to a person like me. So rather than focusing my energy on wallowing, waiting for any role to pop up magically, I spent the energy writing and learning theatre history. And because I spent so much energy doing that, I decided to focus my career solely on that. So, I quit acting.
Fast forward to last month. I’m in Idaho, working from home, not quite getting my theatre juices out like I want to. And I find out that the local theatre is holding auditions for Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Yeah, it’s a musical, and I am not that big a fan of musicals. But I needed theatre. Even if that meant dusting off my acting chops and trying it out again.
I rehearsed my audition song (I chose ‘Poisoning Pigeons in the Park’. I thought it was apt) for a few weeks before the actual audition. I stretch my singing voice out again, prepare my British accent, and practice the introduction.
And then I get there. Self-esteem meltdown engage. Everyone knows everyone. They all greet each other as friends, having known each other from past productions. Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely friendly, but I was also definitely the outsider. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is the audition.
It’s my turn. I go in, best smile, shoulders back, eye contact, and wait for the go ahead. And I give it my all. My voice cracks in two places, hopefully they won’t notice. I do my best. They give me some lines to cold read. Forgetting my British accent, I read with whatever emotion I commit myself to.
And that was it.
I don’t get cast.
Honestly, I wasn’t surprised, though I was genuinely bummed. However, I am also aware that I hadn’t auditioned or even tried to keep up my acting chops in two years. I wasn’t going to be in my best state.
But it felt so good to do SOMETHING. A little fix for me. And who knows, maybe I’ll audition for the next show…