If any of you follow my YouTube channel, you know what this is about.
If you do not, I’ll link the video here, so watch that first (if you want to).
First of all, if I’m going to be completely honest, which I always try to be, I was thinking about taking a break to begin with.
It’s hard for me, personally, to admit that, considering I claim such a passion for making videos. I do. I say it time and time again how much I love making videos. Well, lately, I’ve found that passion a bit…dwindled.
I expect a lot out of myself, and I want to be the best person I can be. Recently, my best self has been trying too much: a consistent twice-a-week YouTube schedule, a consistent thrice-a-week website schedule, working on a production, my actual job, reading 50+ books in a year, writing and editing my original work, art, crafts, learning ASL, trying to learn coding, on top of attempting to maintain my health, mentally and physically. Full disclosure, it’s not working. All of that plus taking care of the home and dealing with sudden stresses and the holidays.
It was too much.
I knew I had to downsize hobby-wise. The first thing I cut was art. Really, had no qualms about it. I can wait on coding, so that’s out for now. The book thing is almost done; can’t quit now. I rely on crafts, especially around Christmas for gift-giving, so no. That leaves making videos.
A week, on average, I can spend 15-35 hours on making videos. That’s quite a lot of time for someone not making a profit on it. I make ‘profit’ on everything else I do. My blog is a proper brain dump for all my work. Writing and editing for my future. Crafts as gifts, the profit of others. ASL because I’ve been yearning to learn a second language; it makes you more marketable and cultured. Videos, while fun to do, don’t give me much to gain. It may do me well in the future, but right now it’s not doing much.
But I couldn’t just let go of making videos. I truly love it.
Then, the universe gave me a scapegoat: my computer.
If you were not aware, everything I do technologically was done by a 3-year-old laptop bought for 300$ at Fred Meyer (a grocery store). When I first got it, I was so certain it was only going to last a year, a year and a half max. I mean, the built-in keyboard lasted 5 months before failing. It certainly proved me wrong by lasting 3 years and 2 months (ish).
But if finally glitched its last glitch. Programs, if they opened at all, were slow and/or froze. The internet super glitched and wouldn’t open websites at all. I finally called it. It’s not worth the headache of keeping it going.
So, I currently do not have a computer. I’m grateful for the chance to blame this break on something else.
Until I get a new computer, I still plan on writing on my blog, so this will stay updated, and you can check out past videos.
Though not having a computer will be a big pain in the ass, it’ll give me something less to worry about during stressful time.
P.S. I’m typing this at the library, more likely the place I will do all of my writing.