When I Didn’t Take My Medication

I take medication.

I have several pills I take a day for physical and mental reasons. And for those who take meds like I do, you can imagine how bad it is when you do not take it. For the lucky ones who do not need to take meds, I’ll let you know how it is.

At first, I was too stressed and simply forgot. Days passed and, finally, I was just ignorant of my own need to take the medication. I think it was a combination of being overwhelmed and the unnecessary need to self-destruct.

I went several weeks without them.

But a recent kick in the booty reminded me that I NEED the medication for health reasons.

Starting small, my body and mental state deteriorated. I was constantly tired (thanks to anemia/an iron deficiency) and needed sleep all the time. I gained weight, becoming much more of a tub than I usually am. But I passed all this off. I was tired because I’m a full time grad student and I work, etc. I’m naturally fat, so whatever, maybe I didn’t gain weight.

It only gets worse, though, guys. The amount of exhaustion I had worsened. I gained more weight and craved a ton of sugar. My skin went to total pot, breaking out and becoming irritated. I was getting sadder and more anxious, having panic attacks over simple problems. Again, I passed it all off as stress from school.

It got worse. Tired, extra weight, bad skin, sadness, and anxiety. Very painful cramping. Bad sleep despite my exhaustion. A spiral of depression that stopped me from taking care of myself, hygiene-wise. Really bad headaches. Some fun organ problems I’d rather not get into. Hooray for withdrawal.

Then came the wake up call.

For reasons, I’m not going to dive into what happened that caused that jolt in me. Some of it is a bit personal. But the point is, I knew I needed to start my medication again.

So I did.

I’m still in the process of getting myself back to a good place, but I am getting better. My skin still sucks, I got that extra tub, and I’m sad. But my limbs aren’t heavy, my organs seem to be functioning correctly, and I don’t have a panic attack when my pen runs out of ink.

The point is, beautiful people, take your medication. If you feel it isn’t working, talk to your doctor. Do NOT quit cold turkey; it does the body harm. And honestly, you should never be so overwhelmed you forget to take your medication. If you are, take a breather (note to my future self).

Stay healthy.

Hugs

Alexandra

P.S. Drink water too ^_^

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