Quitting YouTube

Anyone who follows my YouTube channel may be aware that I haven’t posted a video in 3 months…

Well…I quit.

No more casual videos. Or videos in general. Not set.

Now, since like 2 of you watch my videos, I’m sure you’re wondering why.

Going back (I watched a bunch of my past videos when I was making this decision) I noticed how much I said I loved editing and I loved making videos. Well, let’s get into my reasons, in which there are three:

1. Time and stress

I’m back in school, and made a video about it (here). I’m a full time graduate student pursuing information sciences. It’s a lot of work, and an assignment last semester (my FIRST semester) almost broke my mental state. There’s a lot more that goes into this grad program than past schooling. On top of that, I work. And the job, depending on the day and project, can make me very stressed. On top of that, maintaining a household and responsibilities outside of work and school, including productions. Oh, and a LOT of hobbies. It’s a real issue how many I have. So I don’t lose myself mentally and physically, I needed to cut some. Video making being one of them.

2. The plateau

Everyone’s a big fat liar if they say they aren’t excited when they see risen numbers on their YouTube channel. I did well for a hot second with double digits. And then it dropped. And I got bummed. For the majority of the time, I didn’t give a shit. Realizing I actually cared and worried about gaining numbers was a kick in the teeth. I didn’t want to, so maybe it’s best if I leave it.

3. Probably the biggest reason: I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to.

Making edits was one of the funnest things I did in my free time. I love making Markiplier spin or making a clone of myself or showing off all the anime pics I collected for research. And then…I stopped enjoying it. It became tedious, annoying, time-consuming, and I was never happy with the product I put out. To me, it’s not worth doing something as a hobby if you don’t enjoy it. It took a LOT of reflection, a lot of staring at Adobe Premiere, a lot of watching my own videos to realize that I don’t want to do this anymore. I love the 5 years I did, and the videos aren’t going anywhere. I’m not deleting the channel or the videos. I’m just not making them anymore.

Would I ever go back? Probably not, but never say never. The only thing I can think of that will make me make another video is if I needed to make a short film (a lot of ‘makes’ in that sentence…). I mean, it might happen depending on where my schooling and my career take me.

It was a fun journey while it lasted. I’m grateful for what I learned and for the people who watched and for the friends who helped out.

Thanks for understanding.

RIP YouTube channel
28 November 2014–15 October 2019

Hugs

Alexandra

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