(First of all, sorry for the late post. I just got back into town and didn’t have specific media I wanted to use on my phone. But here we are now)
Last Pride, I fully came out as abrosexual in this post. Then I posted said blog on Facebook, which got some lovely responses. People were supportive, which is always emotional to a queer person. And a couple of my friends asked if I could expound on my experience/identity. So, for the last post of Pride 2020, let’s talk a little bit about my identity.
First, what is abrosexuality?
For real, it’s an unknown, unheard of sexuality. People I know either can’t understand it or don’t believe it exists. While ‘abrosexuality’ is the proper title, it is probably best known as sexually fluid. Basically, my sexuality changes. The changes may be quick, short, slow, long; there’s no real rhyme or reason. For example, someone can fluctuate from straight to gay to straight again to asexual back to gay for various time periods. On average, an abrosexual fluctuates between three sexualities, though it could be more or it could just be two. And overall, this is considered part of the asexual umbrella.
Now, how did I find out about this unknown and underrepresented sexuality?
Growing up and into college I was a very confused person. There were always a deep feeling, but I also just always said I was straight. It’s easier to represent as such. But, seriously, I knew there was something else within me. What am I? There were times in my life I thought I was straight, times I thought I was gay, times I thought I was asexual. Good thing my dating life was nonexistent. By adulthood, I just assumed I was bisexual, and I went through school still confused as hell.
Then, scrolling through Twitter as a regular Millenial, I happened upon a tweet by Nyle DeMarco, male model hotness. Someone asked him what his sexuality was and he replied with a simple ‘fluid’. My curiosity was peaked, and a quick (and fateful) Google search introduced me to abrosexuality. Reading about it felt like I got hit and run over with a steamroller, the Polar Express, AND the Titantic.
Somehow, everything made sense.
I dug more and more into what abrosexuality was and people’s experience with it (though, to be fair, there’s not much out there about it). Once I’ve exhausted my resources, I sat back and thought about my own feelings, my own experiences, and my confused past. Those times I thought I was straight, gay, ace, bi, whatever, I truly was that. Those various points in my life were my changes.
Understanding this part of me has felt so freeing. I’m no longer confused about feelings and what I might be. I have no control over changes but I accept them as they come. And dating is easier (though still nonexistent). I don’t expect others to fully understand; it seems to confuse a lot of people already. But this is my personal identity and that’s all that matters to me.
Hope that answered my friends’ questions.