Happy Thanksgiving

aka the one day during the Christmas season we remember there was something else to celebrate.

Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday, but I do enjoy seeing it come around. It reminds me to not only be grateful for the privilege I have, but help others who are less off.

No matter what your situation, I hope you can be reminded of this as well. Be grateful for what you have and help those who do not. And even if you can only do so much (trust me, I get it), I hope you smile with pure happiness at least once tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving

Death Week; Hell Week

Hello, beautiful. I’m late with my post today (sadly not a surprise these days). Let me give a little update.

As I’ve said before, I am a full time grad student. And if you are familiar with how college works, there’s death week and then there’s hell week. Death week is the week before finals, when you’re killing yourself studying and getting assignments/projects done. Hell week, or finals week, is when you’ve died and now are suffering the worst torture.

Today is the first day of death week.

With that said, I’ll be around this week. A Thanksgiving message on Wednesday and November’s bookclub on Friday. But next week, I’ll be gone. I will be suffering through hell week. At least this time I give notice, right?

For those who are also dealing with death week and/or hell week soon, good luck. Remember to rest and drink water and bathe. Also remember that your grades do not define you as a person. But make sure you work hard!

Hugs

Alexandra

When I Didn’t Take My Medication

I take medication.

I have several pills I take a day for physical and mental reasons. And for those who take meds like I do, you can imagine how bad it is when you do not take it. For the lucky ones who do not need to take meds, I’ll let you know how it is.

At first, I was too stressed and simply forgot. Days passed and, finally, I was just ignorant of my own need to take the medication. I think it was a combination of being overwhelmed and the unnecessary need to self-destruct.

I went several weeks without them.

But a recent kick in the booty reminded me that I NEED the medication for health reasons.

Starting small, my body and mental state deteriorated. I was constantly tired (thanks to anemia/an iron deficiency) and needed sleep all the time. I gained weight, becoming much more of a tub than I usually am. But I passed all this off. I was tired because I’m a full time grad student and I work, etc. I’m naturally fat, so whatever, maybe I didn’t gain weight.

It only gets worse, though, guys. The amount of exhaustion I had worsened. I gained more weight and craved a ton of sugar. My skin went to total pot, breaking out and becoming irritated. I was getting sadder and more anxious, having panic attacks over simple problems. Again, I passed it all off as stress from school.

It got worse. Tired, extra weight, bad skin, sadness, and anxiety. Very painful cramping. Bad sleep despite my exhaustion. A spiral of depression that stopped me from taking care of myself, hygiene-wise. Really bad headaches. Some fun organ problems I’d rather not get into. Hooray for withdrawal.

Then came the wake up call.

For reasons, I’m not going to dive into what happened that caused that jolt in me. Some of it is a bit personal. But the point is, I knew I needed to start my medication again.

So I did.

I’m still in the process of getting myself back to a good place, but I am getting better. My skin still sucks, I got that extra tub, and I’m sad. But my limbs aren’t heavy, my organs seem to be functioning correctly, and I don’t have a panic attack when my pen runs out of ink.

The point is, beautiful people, take your medication. If you feel it isn’t working, talk to your doctor. Do NOT quit cold turkey; it does the body harm. And honestly, you should never be so overwhelmed you forget to take your medication. If you are, take a breather (note to my future self).

Stay healthy.

Hugs

Alexandra

P.S. Drink water too ^_^

A Recipe Post featuring My Snapchat

This is mostly for comedy’s sake, but if you want to try this as well I got you.

Once in a blue moon, I’ll put my cooking on Snapchat. It’s a fun step-by-step instruction on something super simple to cook (I’m not a chef and kinda suck at making fancy things). So, I thought I’d share one of my favorite meals to cook: teriyaki chicken and fried rice.

Supplies needed:

For chicken (besides the actual chicken), brown sugar, soy sauce, and sesame seeds. Easy.

For fried rice (besides the actual rice), frozen peas and carrots, two eggs, sesame oil, and soy sauce. Simple.

It’s best if the chicken is already thawed and cut up to make this even easier. Also, when you cover it up, make sure you keep it on low so it stays warm but doesn’t burn.

To clarify, it’s three cups of cooked rice (maybe one and a half uncooked since they double in size).

For me, taking the veggies out so I can scramble the eggs is easier. In general, you’re supposed to keep the veggies to the side of the pan while scrambling on the other side. Whatever, it works either way. Once you got the rice and soy sauce in, you mix it all up and it becomes fried rice.

And behold, you have some delicious teriyaki chicken and fried rice.

Via Snapchat.

When You’re Overwhelmed (and a story)

This past weekend, my family and I had a yard sale.

I had just pulled a very late night/very early morning, on top of getting woken up early to do the yard sale. To put it bluntly, I was exhausted. On top of my exhaustion was my stress from being a full time grad student with a lot of assignments due or will be due soon. I had four assignments and a test this week alone. Plus, I work and other regular human stuff.

I’m helping, bringing stuff out, getting a little frustrated that one of the family members wasn’t getting out of bed. They were tired, I get it, but so am I. And we needed help.

The kicker came when I was in the backyard trying to take care of a table. The table would best be handled by two, but I was alone. While trying to get the table, Leroy got out and disappeared out the front yard. I freaked and while I was trying to handle the table and get Leroy to come back, the table knocked into my teeth. Luckily, nothing broke but it still hurt.

Now, I’m overwhelmed. I was trying not to yell at people, I was taking a breather inside the house, and (shamefully) I started to cry.

Another family member came in and asked what I did to myself. I don’t like that question; it suggests I intentionally hurt myself which can be triggering. I was telling them (just to clarify, it was a parent) that I was overwhelmed and angry. Even without the intention of raising my voice, I probably did.

They told me to go to my room.

That’s a child’s punishment. I lost my position as ‘adult’ in their eyes and was sent to my room. In their defence, they might have seen a temper tantrum and thought I needed a break. They came into the room later and said they wanted me to get away and collect my thoughts.

But they could’ve worded it better in the moment. Couldn’t we all, though.

But what makes it worse is that they, in a scolding manner, said ‘go to your room’ and then went about the yard sale business by going back to the front yard.

Of course, I went. Despite being an adult, I listen to my parents. I ended up further crying, ranting to the cat about just wanting to help and getting scolded because I got hurt and am upset. Then I pulled a full emo and just listened to the same song on a loop about how I suck as a person.

Here’s what I did right and here’s what I did wrong:

Right: I took a breather. It would’ve been far more of a blow up if I didn’t even take those 10 seconds before the parent came to see me. When you are overwhelmed, step back, take some time to collect your thoughts, and calm down.

Wrong: I didn’t ask for help. I could’ve avoided a hurt mouth and some tears if I simply asked someone to help me with the table. There are people who care, even if they’re online. Seek help when you’re overwhelmed, whether from your boss or your teacher or a friend online.

Right: Crying. That’s right. It’s not shameful, even if it feels like it at the moment. Your body needs to release those emotions sometimes, so when you need to cry, go ahead and cry.

Wrong: I listened to the worst song possible in those emotional states. When you’re overwhelmed, you don’t feel the best about yourself. Don’t make you feel worse by listening to a song about how much you suck. You don’t suck. I promise. Listen to uplifting songs to put yourself in a better state of mind.

Of course, there was more right and wrong, but this post is quite long. After that debacle, I was able to pull myself together long enough to do the yard sale with my family. After we ended it, I went back to bed and relaxed.

Try not to get overwhelmed with stuff in your life, but when/if those moments come remember that it does not make you or others around you worst people. Remember to breathe.

A question from a busy student

Today is Veterans Day.

First of all, say thanks to your veterans, whether it’s a family member or if you just say it in spirit. Quite a few family members and several friends serve(d), and I appreciate their service. I know I could never do something like that.

Anyway, today is a federal holiday. Post offices are closed, banks are closed, even the local library is closed.

But the schools are not.

So, coming from a busy and exhausted student who could’ve used the day off, why aren’t schools closed for this federal holiday? Thanksgiving gets three days from school for whatever reason (considering the history of Thanksgiving versus the history of Veterans Day). And I know my teacher friends are cursing this as well.

Just a question from someone who could’ve used those three and a half hours working on her assignment that’s due tomorrow.

Happy Veterans Day!

Princess Ranking

Okay, another post based off a video I watched recently. This one is thanks to the Try Guys, specifically Eugene’s ranking of Disney princesses (video here). What helped is the Try Guys posting the ranking pic on their Instagram for me to rank them myself! (I’m just doing this for fun)

So here’s what I think:

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First of all, Belle is my favorite princess. Bookworms unite! BUT all the princesses hold a special place in my heart.

However, I can’t be biased and put my favorite on top just because. Mulan graces the number one spot for what I believe are obvious reasons. Selfless, kick-ass, hard-working, saved China! Plus, her singing voice is Lea Salonga. Belle is number two because of what she did as well. Selfless, intelligent, self-respecting, and willing to help even when it was against everyone in her village.

For my bottom ranking, Aurora (WHO SHOULD BE IN HER BLUE DRESS but that’s a discussion for another time), is dead last. She had nothing to contribute for her own story besides being in a coma the whole time. Philip did all your work for you! And Snow White is just above because she tried to run…until she opened the door for a stranger. Yikes.

Anyway, this kind of post is for fun. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so if you don’t agree with my rank, cool. But this is my rank. Yours is right too.

Hugs

Princess Alexandra

My Biggest Flaw

There was a video Anna Akana did about a year ago where she asked three of her friends what her biggest flaw was (video here).

Her ultimate point was that maybe our flaws are strengths, if we know how to use it.

So I decided to ask one of my best friends…

I thought I was prepared…but I wasn’t. I don’t mind criticism, but it’s definitely a jolt when you don’t even realize something about yourself (even if you are getting better at it). But after some reflection, I realized the extent of my clingy nature.

I have an obsessive personality. I’ve been noticing it more and more when I got nearly addicted to the show Good Omens. When I find something I really like, I latch onto it and consume absolutely everything I possibly can about it. It’s a yikes when it comes to friends. I’ve become more aware, and I try to keep those clingy/obsessive behaviors either to myself or at a minimum.

But there’s supposed to be a strength behind this, right? An obsessive personality, from my own experience, can get a project done, can teach me so many new hobbies and cultures, and can make me passionate.

As for my current big flaw, I already know my confidence is lower than the tummy of a blue whale. It’s something else I’m working on, but it’ll take some time. Strengths? There actually is some! It makes me cautious and when I care about someone I TRULY care.

Basically, lovelies, understand your flaws, find the strengths in them, and better yourself. Accept, sure. But don’t remain stagnant.

Hugs

Alexandra

Daylight Saving (and a bad holiday)

Apparently it’s not Daylight Savings.

Anyway, I’m not a personal fan of these two days a year. To me it makes no sense, but what do I know.

Another anyway, hope you all had a happy Halloween (I did not, which is why I disappeared for a moment). And I hope you have a happy November. Tomorrow is Bonfire Night to my British friends, and I wish I was there to celebrate with.

If you’ve had a bad holiday, know it doesn’t last forever. Use the disappointment in a productive way and make the next holiday better. Or, recelebrate on a different day, which is what I’m thinking of doing with Halloween.

Have a great day, lovelies.

(wasn’t i supposed to write on wednesday?)

Yes, I was.

Homegirl was exhausted after some all-nighters.

Anyway, let’s talk about why I love Halloween.

I wanted to really bring Halloween out today since the other day I was smelling pine and starting to sing Christmas songs (a BIG no-no until Thanksgiving).

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It speaks to the weird, gothic, and potentially creepy parts of me. Skulls are part of my aesthetic, vampires and witches fascinate me, and Poe is my favorite author.

Apart from that side of me, I enjoy seeing the celebration around it. Halloween movies, costume parties, trick-or-treating; what fun for everyone. And it’s the one time of year I can dress creepy/freaky without judgement.

Anyway, the reason I love Halloween is that it’s the most me of all the holidays.

Celebrate what’s important to you, or what you think best represents you.