Why Phone Calls Terrify Me (and Some Research About It)

It seems to be a stereotype amongst the Millennials and Gen Z to be afraid of phone calls and making calls. And it seems to be true, in terms of my own self.

I hate making phone calls/answering phone calls. It gives me real anxiety and it truly scares me. So I wondered, where did the stereotype come from? Or why are people my age so scared of answering/making phone calls? I decided to look at a couple of articles, and here’s what I found:

According to a survey done by BankMyCell, who talked to more than 1,200 Millennials, the main reasons we avoid calls are as follows: time consumption, work responsibilities, being heard on the phone in personal surroundings, and the ‘person’ factor. The ‘person’ factor, as I call it, are the neediness, annoying, whiny, confrontation-y part of the phone calls. Someone else made a good point, saying, “It’s simple: if you text or email someone, they can respond on their time. But if you call someone, they need to respond right now on your time. It’s just inconsiderate.” (Andy Meek).

Another article had an example panic monologue that went something like this:

“Wait, what if she asks me a question I don’t have the answer to? What if I try to explain things using my hands and nothing makes any sense without my excellent hand gestures? What if the connection dies mid-sentence and my incomplete thought makes me sound like I hate HR? Oh no, what if I have to leave a voicemail?” (Peter Du)

The fear of embarrassment seems to be heightened amongst the Millennials as well, which may contribute. (And when I tried to look up some articles about that, all I got were articles written by people that said they were embarrassed to be a Millennial, so that didn’t help). This I understand. Phone calls are in the moment, and the last thing you want to do is say something wrong.

I did look into other articles, but the problem became the hostility toward Millennials being glued to their phones yet are cowards enough not to answer it. They’re precious little babies that whine about everything. (Obviously, I don’t agree, but that’s what the articles summarized). Rude.

So, to conclude the first half, Millennials tend to be fearful of phone calls because it’s time consuming (which is inconsiderate), they can get confrontational, and embarrassment may happen.

Now, what about me? When I say I’m scared to make phone calls, I mean I could get a panic attack from it (great, considering making phone calls is 65% of my current job). It gives me so much anxiety! Why? Well…

It hearkens back to my undergrad college when I had a job at a call center. I was already an anxious bean, but phone calls weren’t the worst thing ever so I thought I could handle it. Until I actually worked there. Two reasons: the callees and the coworkers. The callees were a special kind of rude because, while we were not selling anything, we were doing political surveys about candidates and hot-button issues like gun laws. I’ll allow you to use your imagination, but I was in a constant state of fear or sorrow.

My coworkers were something else. You had no choice in your hours, bathroom breaks were ordained (and you only got one a shift), you couldn’t take a break from calling because your computer would automatically call for you and you couldn’t stop it, and the supervisors were ruthless. They always listened in on your calls and would tell you everything you did wrong during your call. If you didn’t reach a quota (because that’s totally your fault), your pay was docked. You couldn’t socialize with anyone around you, as proven by getting bad marks for saying hi to a castmates son who worked there too. And here’s where it became very obvious that they didn’t care: I got very sick and lost my voice, which means I couldn’t talk on the phone. When I let them know, they just rolled their eyes and said I can take a day but that’s my only day off I’m allowed (because one of the rules was that we were only allowed one day off in nine months).

TLDR; I’m terrified of phones because I was traumatized. I’m scared people will yell at me, I’m scared people will treat me like garbage, I’m scared I’ll do something wrong, I’m scared that I’m not allowed to do anything else while on the phone because it’ll royally mess me up.

Anyway, I’m screwed over when it comes to calls.

And yet I have to do it every day because income is more important than anything else.

Dammit.

(DISCLAIMER: I have a good job, and being on the phone at work is getting easier because I just use a character, ‘White Collar Alexandra’. I was very aware when I was offered my job that I would be very involved with phone calls)

Riddles

As a substitute, I was known for my bag of tricks. One of which was riddles. Occasionally, there’ll be some time left over, and not wanting the kids to go haywire, I would present riddles. It gave them a chance to do something fun while still using their brain.

So I wanted to share my favorite riddles to present to them (9-13 year olds):

  1. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
  2. Feed me and I live. Yet give me a drink and I die. What am I?
  3. Forward I am heavy, backward I am not. What am I?
  4. I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
  5. What is always on its way but never arrives?
  6. What is light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
  7. He who makes it has no need of it. He who buys it has no use for it. He who uses it does not know it. What is it?
  8. (my favorite to really wrack their brain) What 8 letter word can have a letter taken away and it stills makes a word. Take another letter away and it still makes a word. Keep on doing that until you have one letter left. What is the word?

Just something I wanted to put out there for other subs if they want it.

Hugs

Alexandra

P.S. The answers:

  1. Footsteps–2. Fire–3. Ton–4. Seven–5. Tomorrow–6. Breath–7. Coffin–8. Starting, staring, string, sting, sing, sin, in, I

Driving Laws

I was recently driving with my mother when we came upon a four-way stop. The person to our left went through, then we were about to. But the person to our right went through because he was there first. Mother then does a mild, 5-second scold to following four-way traffic laws. She does this at every four-way that doesn’t perform in a counter-clockwise merry-go-round manner.

When I went through drivers ed, I was never taught and four-way traffic laws. It was a first come, first serve basis. But during her little scold, I actually got to thinking: what is the law behind a four-way stop? And I decided to look into three states: California, where Mother learned to drive, Virginia, where I learned to drive, and Idaho, where we both live now.

Well, guess what. They all have the same right-of-way laws…and Mother was wrong.

At a four-way intersection, right-of-way is given to the person who showed up first. And if two cars are there at the same time, right-of-way yields to the person to the right, not left as Mother mini-scolds every time she goes through a four-way intersection.

This post is meant to educate, to embarrass. When Mother learned to drive, laws were a bit different. Things change, and in this case, we just accept it.

Hugs

Alexandra

Ramadan

Ramadan started last night. This is a special month-long holiday. While you do not need to celebrate it (I don’t), I believe you should be mindful, especially if you know someone who may celebrate.

What is Ramadan?

Ramadan is one of the most holy months of the Islamic calendar year. It is a Muslim religious observance, believed to be the time when the first verses of the Quran were revealed to the Prophet Muhammad by Allah.

There are Five Pillars of Islam, and fasting through Ramadan is one of them. With the exception of illnesses, diabetes, pregnancy, and other health issues, it’s an obligatory thing. Muslims are expected to fast from all food and drink, water too, from dawn until sunset every day during the month. And because we are entering summer months, they’ll be fasting, approximately, from 5 am to 9 pm–16 hours! At night, the fast is broken with a communal meal.

During Ramadan, Muslims are also expected to pray, read the Quran daily, and give to charities. They are meant to abstain from foul speech, gossip, smoking, engaging in sexual relations, and fighting. The fasting, as well as the praying, reading, doing good, etc., is meant to promote self-discipline and bring you closer to God.

Now, why do I care? What does it matter if I do not celebrate it?

When I was in the seventh grade (Year 8, for my UK friends), I had a friend who came from Pakistan. She and her family were faithful Muslims. One day, I went back to the classroom in need of something when I saw a familiar hijab in the room. My friend was reading, alone and without food. I offered lunch, but she was fasting. This is when I first learned about Ramadan. I didn’t understand at first; it took a hot minute for me to grasp what it was. And at the end, she invited me to Eid Al-Fatur, their celebration the day after the last day of Ramadan.

Even if you don’t celebrate/aren’t part of their religion, be respectful. Don’t belittle their efforts or mock their tradition. And if you see/know Muslims using this time (until 4 June, I think?), don’t force food or water in their direction. You don’t need to make fun of a religious time just because you don’t understand it.

Have a blessed Ramadan.

Hugs

Alexandra

Taxes…

The last day of taxes here in the States are Monday, 15 April.

But why do we have tax season? Why do we get tax refunds? (Note: I do not mind getting money, but I want to know why I have to worry about that kind of thing every end of winter/beginning of spring)

Apparently, you get a tax refund when you overpay in taxes.

Your job withholds money from your paycheck for the government to determine what your actual tax amount is. And every year, they return what you ‘gave’ more of.

Because I, in all honesty, don’t know shit about taxes (hence why I make this post), I did a bit of Googling as to why this all happens in the first place. I found one guy explain the actual refund/the overpaying part:

“You and your buddy go out for drinks every so often. To make things easier you both kick in $200/mo into a joint checking account and pay for everything out of that account. At the end of the year, you need to settle up and zero the account. You go through each receipt and determine who was responsible for each cost, and pay out the appropriate remainder. With the account at $0, you both start kicking $200/mo into the account again.” (link)

But why do we actually overpay? Well, I found two different answers, both surprisingly from the same article.

1. It’s so we can avoid UNDERpaying taxes and have to owe money to the IRS in April

And 2. We are essentially loaning the government money for free, which they ‘return’ every end of winter/beginning of spring. (click for the article)

So, that’s what I found. I don’t know how much is true and how much could be nonsense. Either way, I have a headache just from trying to figure out why this happens.

Make sure you file your taxes. Deadline 15 April. That’s it.

Hugs (and aspirin)

Alexandra

The Last Empress of Russia

Pearl Diadem () Empress Alexandra Feodorovna 2-2One of the things I constantly preach is about learning new things. And my blog has been mostly about learning about self, which is super important as well so no regrets! I thought it was time to teach you guys something you may not know about.

Lately I’ve been reminded of my work and research that was put into learning about the last Empress of Russia, Alexandra Feodorovna (known as Alix). She was painted with unfavorable light due to the family’s relationship with Rasputin and the fall of Imperial Russia. Here’s some stuff you may not know about her.

 

-her grandmother was Queen Victoria of Great Britain

-she had a firm and independent stance on marriage, which was rare/unheard of in the late 1800s. it was considered unfeminine or unnatural

-French was the language of the Russian court, and when she would learn/practice the courtiers would laugh at her efforts and criticize her

-she had an excessive focus, borderline unhealthy fixation, on how her home was run

-under Alix’s patronage, 85 hospitals around Petrograd were operating within the first four months of WWI. She and her older daughter even trained to become surgical nurses

-she disliked crowds, and always sought isolation and quiet

-obsessive about having something to do, and without a job she felt useless

-strongly empathetic, to the point where she could be counted on to get up out of her sickbed in response to others’ needs

-loved her family. This is a bit odd to add, however she was seen as ‘wasting her time’ when she was looking after her daughters whose ‘existence were of no use to the Russian empire’. She adored all her kids

-as well, she and her husband had a very loving relationship

-and now, allow me to tell you my favorite story I found, told by Princess Obolensky. While on one of their ships, they struck a rock which left a hole in the hull and it was sinking. Alix saw to the safety of the family and staff, mobilized everyone’s efforts, and managed to salvage the valuables from the cabins. Forgetting herself (she was the last woman to leave the ship) and caught up entirely in the peril of the moment, Alix had ‘acted as one born to command’

 

And that’s all I’ll give you now. She was a fascinating woman, and I was actually thrilled to learn more about her, even if she was a tragic character of history.

Whatever interests you, learn of it.

Hugs

Alexandra