Do I Do Too Much for My Friends?

It’s a rough business.

Not too long ago, I made a workbook. I was seeing ideas roaming around Pinterest, and wanted to try it out for myself. However, I can’t make it for myself. I already know all of the spoilers and what to do. It wouldn’t be as fun to complete as it was to make. So I sent it to a good friend.

While I was making this, however, I was in the middle of a very stressful time. After sending her the workbook,  I was FaceTime-ing her about our troubles. That’s when she said, “Do me a favor: don’t make me anything else.”

Now, this caught me off-guard, in the heart, in the throat. I’m a creative person, so I love making things for others plenty. Depending on our friendship depends on quality and quantity (if that makes sense; I didn’t know how else to explain it). My mom probably has boxes upon boxes of stuff I’ve made. She still uses some of the stuff, too, including the toolbox I made her in woodshop class a decade ago. For this friend, I’ve made another book and have done some art.

But after she told me that, I looked back into my head and asked myself, ‘do I do too much for my friends?’

Honestly, I think so. And I might know why.

Due to my own insecurities and my persona unhappiness, I want so bad for my friends to be happy. I don’t want them to feel down, because I know how shitty ‘down’ is. So I do what I can for them. My time, effort, and gifts. I do it for others, very rarely for myself.

But I love doing it.

It give me an excuse to be creative, and/or it makes others feel special. Which is important to me.

I also have the inability to say ‘no’…but we don’t dwell on that. At least not now.

So, what to do?

I think my first step is not to stop creating, but rather to create for myself. Learn to say ‘no’ and make yourself feel special.

We have a lot to learn.

Hugs

Alexandra

Am I Allowed To Scream in the Title?

4:21 pm

Originally this was going to be a post about concert tips.

Today I was supposed to go to a concert. But as we took off, about two miles down the freeway, we got some smoke and some scents of coolant. Uh-oh.

We had to go about 20 more miles before we found another exit (and fortunately an auto shop).

And we received some bad news about a potentially broken engine…

5:10 pm

Yep, our engine decided to poison itself.

We have an extended warranty, blah blah blah, legal, blah, copay, blah. It’s a mess. I’m just hoping the warranty works.

And to add insult to injury, enterprise and hertz (the two rental places in town) are out of cars.

Oh my girth

7:19 pm

Guess there was an Avis in town too. And they did have rentals available. I think my night was saved.

A very nice lady from the auto repair place gave us a ride to the Avis, we got a rental, and we are on the road!

We are late to the concert…

But we’ll only miss the opening acts…

And that’s okay…

I guess

8:55 pm

We made it.

Just.

And what a nightmare to get to our seats!

We had to check in. Check in is on the fourth level. Up the stairs. No, check is in the fourth lobby. Used the wrong stairs. Up again. Down again. Checked in. Up the stairs to our seats. Down the stairs to our seats.

We were up and down stairs at least a dozen times.

But now we’re here. And I get to try to calm down.

But we made it before the main event (which is Fall Out Boy, by the way).

11:02 pm

The concert is over.

Was it worth the stress and turmoil?

Yes, honestly. But now I’m exhausted, it’s about two hours home, and I have to get up early for work in the morning.

Concert tip: if your concert is 100+ miles away, just rent a damn car.

A Good Girl

On Saturday evening, my beloved pupper passed away.

Her name is Carmel, she was 13 years old.

Some people don’t understand how important an animal can be in our lives. She was my companion growing up, getting her at the most awkward age of life: 14.

Carmel has helped me so much. Even when I was away at school. And when I came home, she was the most excited to see me. The most happy.

She was a good girl.

Rest in peace.