And We’re Back!

Did everyone have a good break?

Apologies again for disappearing; the production had me a mess for a bit, but now that it’s over, I’m back! Writing posts, reading (I haven’t read during the messy weeks), and watching videos when they actually come out. Oh! And preparing for the grand return to YouTube.

An actual post about the production will pop up on Wednesday.

With all that said, let me know if there’s any sort of post you’re wanting to see, and I’ll look into making it happen, potentially. Can’t promise, unfortunately.

Welcome back, beautiful people!

Hugs for all!

Alexandra

Hiatus Part 2

It hasn’t even been a month…

The production is eating me alive on top of work and other personal things going on. It’s rough when you only have two hours a day, soon to be less, to do anything self care worthy, including showering and making a decent dinner.

And now I’m just…so exhausted.

Posts will be back after production, so starting 18 March, we are back.

I apologize deeply. It hurts when I don’t even have time to write, one of my favorite things to do in the world.

Anyway, have a good break. Love you all. And I’ll see you in two weeks.

You Know You’re Busy When

your desk looks like this

and your bed looks like this

There’s been a lot happening, as I know I’ve mentioned before.

Here’s the thing, I can’t do everything. As much as I hate that, I do recognize I’m not Hermione and able to be in several places at once. Because of that, things may suffer.

And that thing for me is my home organization.

Here’s the other thing: I don’t mind.

I love organization, but my organizing is used in a different medium. I don’t particularly like having my areas like this, but there’s no real choice either. I’d rather let this suffer than my work at the moment.

Don’t be too bummed if you have to let something go for a hot minute. You’ll be able to go back to it once you’ve got the mental capacity and time.

24 Hour Theatre Project

I had a part in creating a 30 minute one acting play, conception to performance in 24 hours. What a roller coaster.

Because of it, and rehearsals for the actual production I’m in, I don’t have a blog post today. So, as an apology, here’s me, 10 hours in and delirious, with a Val Kilmer face mould.

You Are a Badass

One of the books I read in January (book club post here) was You Are a Badass by Jen Sencaro. I greatly enjoyed the book, and wanted to give some thoughts about why you are a badass.

Watching someone else totally go for it can be incredibly upsetting to the person who’s spent a lifetime building a solid case for why they themselves can’t.

I felt this as a personal attack. All of my friends are incredible at what they have set for themselves. And then there’s me. I am incredibly upset (at myself) when others go for it, only because I convince myself I can’t.

It’s just as easy to believe we’re awesome as it is to believe we’re giant sucking things.

It takes the same amount of brain power. So utilize it for something fulfilling.

We are all perfect in our own magnificent, fucked-up ways.

One of my favorite quotes in the whole book. We are magnificent, we are fucked up, we are us.

Do not waste your precious time giving one single crap about what anybody else thinks of you. 

This was in all caps, so it must be important. I think too much about what others think of me. It’s what I set for myself after traumatic bullying. But so much of my own limited time was spent worrying about someone else when I should have been worrying about me.

THE FOLLOWING IS HUGELY IMPORTANT SO PLEASE PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION: You have to change your thinking first, and then the evidence appears. Our big mistake is that we do it the other way around. We demand to see the evidence before we believe it to be true.

I love the way she wrote important messages. I do make the mistake of acting on evidence before faith when it comes to my self worth. Time to change.

Forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. 

Forgive. Let yourself heal; who cares what happens to them afterward. It’s hard, impossible some may say. I’m well aware. But it lets me take care of myself, not letting the other off the hook or giving them my happiness.

Because so often when we say we’re unqualified for something, what we’re really saying is that we’re too scared to try it, not that we can’t do it. 

Another personal attack. Although, I have been getting a lot better at changing this, and I wanted you guys to be aware of what you may be too afraid to do too.

Do what you can in joy, instead of trying to do it all in misery. 

Working in joy helps better your overall attitude and helps it go by easier. I’ve had jobs I loathed, and I’ve spread that complaining to my family and friends. It’s not good for anyone, especially me. A better job and a better confidence comes when you find even the smallest joy and focus on it, rather than letting the overall misery be its defining factor.

Never apologize for who you are. It lets the whole world down. 

Boom. No more needs to be said.

The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information. 

Another favorite quote. Everything is learning. You are doing better than before; the only way you don’t is when you quit.

New level, new devil. 

Life.

If I Was an Anime Character

I’ve been watching quite a bit of anime recently, which made me wonder…what would it be like if I was an anime character?

Well, first, what kind of anime? It’d probably be Josei, a drama and comedy. Realistic plot, obviously, and no romance.

img_2105My character would be a recluse newbie college student, surrounded by books and followed by cats. Silent and shy. She’d have blue hair and wear baggy clothes.

You know what I see? She’s the main character with very little dialogue because everyone else talks about her. Why is she sitting in the rain? Why is she so attached to cats? Why does she go to cafes alone just to read? Why does she window shop, but never buy anything?

She’s an anomaly the other characters try to figure out, not for romance reasons. Out of pure curiosity. Ooh! I’d call it Curiosity Killed the Cat!…Okay maybe not.

BRB, gonna go call Funimation.

AND I want Mamoru Miyano to play the professor she talks to.

…and that’s who I’d be as an anime character.

Who would you be?

Tips as a Substitute Teacher

One of my jobs right now is a substitute teacher (or guest teacher as they call us here). I’ve been subbing off and on since 2016, with at least 12 months under my belt, and have done every single grade level K-12 in every single subject, plus special ed, detention, and the alternative school. So, I’d like to think I know what I’m talking about.

Here are some tips I’ve learned as a substitute teacher:

1. Have a ‘bag of tricks’.

What I generally like to have with me are games and small candies. If we finish the lesson with time to spare, I like to let them have fun. Generally, I’d do vocab guessing games or math games or random history facts games or riddles. I’ve even done Mafia/Werewolf. And candies are an extra incentive for a job well done.

2. Be honest.

Science is not my forte, so when students in science classes ask me a question I don’t know, I tell them honestly. I try my best to help them, but sometimes it’s more than I can understand. I also apologize for being bad at pronouncing/remembering names, because I am. The only time I am not honest is when they ask my age and relationship status. “I’m 1,348 and engaged to Prince Humperdink.”

3. Music.

I’m a person who needs music. It calms me down. That’s why I play instrumentals (piano) in the background. Music also helps the students focus, so win-win. Occasionally, I’ll play, as a treat, regular music that I already know is clean and school appropriate.

4. The theatre voice.

Sometimes students get too loud, so I use my acting training and project. I don’t care how loud you’re talking, I can talk louder. When they are quieter, I talk in a normal tone. Don’t be afraid to use that voice.

5. They should know respect and responsibility.

I am known to be stern or strict among those students I sub, but that’s what makes me good at my job. The students are expected to show respect to the authority in the room; I’m there to help them learn and do well. They are also expected to be responsible in doing their work, however able to do it. When a student is disrespectful, I warn them before they are punished. When a student is not doing their work, I tell them. And because I am so straight-forward, they see me as mean. But at the end of the day, they got work done so the teacher doesn’t have to worry.

6. On the flip side…

I am determined to be a respectful and responsible adult. They only gain my respect when they lost it in the first place. Every student starts with respect to them: who they are, their challenges, their quirks, etc. And I am responsible for maintaining a productive learning environment. I don’t simply give their work and call it a day, I make sure they understand what to do and help them (without giving answers).

7. Lastly, what to bring.

Don’t wear heels. Mercy me, do not wear heels. Bring food. It’s 8 full hours. Bring water. I’m a Diet Coke-holic, but I drink only water at work. It’s better for you. Bring a book. Teachers have prep and lunch to do what they need to, and that’s the time I read. Keep yourself from getting sick and bring tissues and hand sanitizer, and use liberally.

And that’s some of the many things I learned as a sub. Maybe I can help a fellow sub, or even a teacher. Maybe you can use these tips in your daily employed life. I don’t know. Your own discretion.

Hugs

Alexandra

Happy (Belated) Valentines Day

Valentines Day was yesterday. And it’s not a holiday I look forward to or really enjoy seeing.

I don’t hate it. But I don’t love it. I’m just wondering why we even have it in the first place. There’s no point for it.

However, it’s a thing and what can I do about it? Ignore it? Have you seen the stores? Hate on it? Why do I want that kind of negativity in my life? Give in and start liking it? Why do I want to celebrate something I don’t believe in/have no interest in? Why are there so many questions?

So, I don’t mind it. I just don’t actively celebrate it.

I’ve never had a valentine (no, I’m not bitter, it’s just a statement), and why would I want a day to celebrate love when we should celebrate every day. The only Valentines Day I really enjoyed was taking myself to a theater to see a murder mystery. Yes, death and suspense, best Valentines Day ever.

If you celebrate Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day! I hope you had a great one and that you gave and received all the love possible. While I don’t actively celebrate, I do wish happiness on others.

And no matter how you celebrate this random (in my opinion, unnecessary holiday) it is okay. However you want to celebrate is good.

Hugs

Alexandra

P.S. Thanks for being patient over the week. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep on top of the blog for a bit, though my production is coming up and during the performance weeks I might slack. Apologies again, and thanks for being you.

Meet Moro

I got a dog.

She’s a Belgian Malinois puppy, and boy is she a handful. She was at the local animal shelter, scared out of her wits, abandoned, and without a name.

My mother thought it was time to get me a doggo, so we decided to check out the shelter, and I fell in love.

And so I named her Moro. (10 points if you know the reference without Google)

She’s precious, sweet, a fast learner, and so excited about everything.

Prepare to see (and hear about) her more.